Riku's Crazy Adventure
by Le Rusecue
Summary: Riku, after coming home from a long day's work at his below minimum wage job, is thrown into one of the most random adventures he could ever experience. All characters are property of their respective owners.
1. Riku's Boring Ass Life

One day, on Destiny Islands…..

_**Beep Beep Beep**_

The boy opened his eyes to the sound of his annoying alarm clock going off. He reached a hand over, and blindly smacked down on the desk in search for the alarm clock. After a whole minute passed by without him turning the alarm off, he raised up, angrily, only to find that the clock was not in it's normal place on the desk.

It wasn't even _on _the desk.

"Oh, fuck me." the silver haired boy said to himself. Riku got out of his bed, and went to search for his number one enemy when it came to mornings. Naturally, the first places one would look would be on the floor next to the desk and under the bed. But it wasn't in either of those places. He then proceeded to practically ransack his own room in search of the source of the alarm.

But it was nowhere.

"Fuck this." Riku said to himself as he stormed out of his room, he slammed the door shut, and the beeping ceased, at least to anything outside of the room. "It's going to be a long fucking day."

And he was right. He had no idea what was in store for him.

Later, Riku left his house to go to work, like he did every day. As he walked down the walkway, he saw his idiot friend Sora laying in his front lawn, throwing a ball up in the air, and catching it before it could hit him. "Please don't let him see me." Riku mumbled to himself.

Just as he said that, the brown haired man child glanced over. "Riku!" Sora called out. "Want to play some ball?"

Riku groaned. "No thanks, Sora! I have to go to work!" he responded, irritation clear in his voice. Or rather, it would have been if he hadn't been talking to Sora. Sora threw the ball up in the air, and then waved at his friend, though Riku couldn't see it since by this point, he had started down the sidewalk.

"Bye Riku!" he called out. Unfortunately for Riku, he was too pissed off to turn around and see the ball smack his friend right in the face. Seeing that probably would have cheered him up.

The day went on as normal when Riku got to work. He played the role of the grumpy, asshole of a cashier, and his idiotic coworker played the role of the overly joyous fry cook. Oddly enough, the boss of the eatery didn't show his face until the end of the day, when the restaurant was empty of anything living aside from the workers, and the cockroaches that lived in the back.

"Riku, Spongebob!" Mr. Krabs shouted. "In my office, now!" the crabby old crab said. Mr. Krabs walked back into his office, followed by the giddy Spongebob, and Riku, who just wanted to go home. When the three of them had all taken their seats, Mr. Krabs cleared his throat, and spoke.

"As you boys know, we haven't been getting as much business as we usually have. So I've come to the conclusion that-" Mr. Krabs stopped, seeing that only a few seconds into his speech, Riku had fallen asleep, and Spongebob had become distracted by the teddy bear he had won from the newest claw machine. "Pay attention boys, or **YOU'RE FIRED!**" the irritable crustacean yelled. Spongebob dropped his teddy bear and glued his eyes on his boss, and Riku snapped awake. "Anyway… I have come to the conclusion that we need more employees, and that we need to reopen the Krusty Krab 2."

Riku raised his hand. "Yes, boy?"

"What's that have to do with us?"

"I was getting to that, boy!" Mr. Krabs shouted. "I've decided that you boys are going to take on some extra tasks, free of charge. Find some new recruits for the Krusty Krab's. If ye don't," a brief break to summon his breath. "You're fired!" he exclaimed, spewing a large amount of saliva on his employees. "Any questions?"

Riku raised his hand for the second time that meeting. "Yes, Riku?" Mr. Krabs said, irritated.

"Can we go home now?"

As soon as Riku came home, he saw his friend Sora laying on his couch, controller in hand, eyes glued to his television set.

"Hey," Sora said as Riku walked in from a hard day's work. Before Riku could even respond, Sora addressed the issue of the beeping upstairs. "There's an alarm going off upstairs."

Riku sighed. "I've noticed." he said. He fell down on the chair next to the window. He had hoped that Sora wouldn't be in his house that day. Though Sora didn't live with Riku, he might as well have, since he spent almost all of his free time there, even when Riku wasn't home. Even when he wasn't welcome, like that particular day.

Sora reached a hand down under the couch, and pulled a canned beverage out. "Want one?" he asked. Riku, though curious as to why drinks were being kept under his couch, nodded his head, and held his hand out. Sora tossed the canned drink at his friend. But instead of landing perfectly against Riku's palm, like it normally did, it flew past the boy, smashing through the delicate glass window.

"Ow!" a man down below shouted. "My fucking head!"

Riku, jaw dropped, looked at his friend, who's eyes had once again returned to the screen. "What the fuck, man!" he finally shouted after moments of silence.

"What?" Sora said. Riku pointed at his freshly broken window. "You were supposed to catch it!"

"No shit!" Riku shouted. "Give me another."

"There are no more."

Riku, as usual, sighed. "Great. I thought I'd at least get something to drink, but heaven's no."

"Oh quit your bitching, and go down there and get it."

"Are you fucking kidding me? It probably busted!"

"No it didn't!" Sora shot back, taking his eyes of the screen for a split moment. "Some poor guy's head broke it's fall." he said simply, returning his gaze back to the screen. Riku simply rolled his eyes, and then went down the stairs

Then Sora reached his hand under the couch, and pulled another can out.


	2. One Hundred Souls

On a sinking ship in the middle of an ocean, a single man sat on the edge, shaking, not because of the cold air, but because of the creatures that surrounded him. The creatures in question seemed to be neither fish or man, but a mix of both. Slimy, scaly, covered in scum, all were fitting descriptions of these creatures. And they all hard their eyes fixed on the man with dark gray hair, in his jet black cloak.

The only sound that surrounded the man for several moments was that of the creatures breathing, and of course, the light sprinkling rain. But then, loud thumping was heard, approaching the man. Several of the creatures moved out of the way to reveal a beast even more hideous than all of them. It had thick, slimy white skin, from what the man could see, and several tendrils extending from it's face. The beast approached the man, it's leg thumping with every step.

When it got close enough, it kneeled down to be face to face with the man. It's claw like hand came to his face, and it's lips wrapped around the end of the pipe it held in it's hand.

"Do you fear death?" the creature asked, smoke escaping from his mouth to make a smoky pillar. "Do you fear that dark abyss… All of your sins, laid bare?"

The man nodded.

"I can postpone your judgment."

"Really?" the man asked. "How?"

The creature put the pipe up to it's lips again. "Join my crew." it said in a demanding voice as it took the pipe out of it's mouth.

"I can do that." the man said. "Well, for a few hours. You see, I have my own-" the man was cut off by the creature slamming it's open claw against his neck, the pipe hanging from it's lips.

"Join my crew!" it exclaimed with ferocity. Smoke escaped from the side of his mouth as he spoke. "For one hundred years!"

"I can't do that!" the man shouted. "I've got my own god damn responsibilities!" the creature removed it's claw, and then took the pipe from it's mouth. It blew smoke at him, and then backed away.

"Very well, then." he said. One of the other creatures, this one possessing the head of a hammerhead shark, approached the man, brandishing a very large knife as it closed it on him.

"Wait!" the man shouted in a pathetic attempt to stop the monster, which kept coming. "I can do something else for you! Anything, you name it!" he cried. The creature placed it's blade against the man's dark skinned neck.

"Anything?" the creature said with a voice of intrigue. The creature pushed the hammer head beast out of the way, and grabbed the man by the throat once again, this time with it's normal hand. "One hundred souls. By year's end."

"One hundred souls. Got it." the man said. The creature put it's pipe back in it's mouth, and then hoisted the man up in the air. It then tossed the man towards the shore, where he landed on a rock. A nearby man wearing a similar cloak and an eye patch ran to the man's side.

"Are you alright, Xemnas?" the man asked as he reached a hand down. Xemnas nodded, grabbing the other man's hand.

"Yeah. I just have to get one hundred souls before year's….." the man stopped, realizing what time of year it had been. "Fuck!" he exclaimed. "I've got less than a month to collect one hundred souls!" he pushed past the other man, and marched off toward his castle, knowing exactly where he was going to get his first few souls from.


	3. The Beginning

Riku walked out of his house, instantly noticing a man laying on his sidewalk. Riku cursed under his breath as he rushed to the man's side, hoping the best had happened and the man hadn't been seriously hurt. Or he had been killed.

"Are you okay?" Riku asked as he knelt down next to the man. The man groaned as he sat up.

"Some fucking moron hit me with a can… A full can." he said. Riku's eyes darted to the right, noticing the can, amazingly still intact.

"I see. Here, let me help you up." Riku said, trying to disregard the 'mystery' of the falling can as quickly as possible. Riku helped the man to his feet, dusting the man's cloak as he did.

"Is that yours?" the man asked, motioning his head toward the can. Riku walked over to the can, and bent over to pick it up.

"Yeah. But I didn't throw it. You see-" the boy stopped talking as soon as he stood up and saw a boy with blonde hair styled in a mullet standing before him. "Who the hell are you?" he asked. No answer came from the boy. Riku, deciding to disregard the boy's presence, turned around to apologize to the man again. But as he turned around, he was greeted by a bat to the face. He stared up at the sky, dazed for a few moments, before falling to the ground, unconscious.

"How many souls is that?" the boy asked, hoisting the body of Riku up. The man grabbed the other end of the boy, and then the two started to carry him off.

"This boy is the lucky one hundredth. My debt is wiped clean after this!" the man shouted.

"Oh." the boy said. Then, the two of them laughed maniacally, though neither knew why.


End file.
